Long Distance
by lovethyneighbor
Summary: "With you is where I'd rather be But we're stuck where we are And it's so hard, you're so far This long distance is killing me I wish that you were here with me But we're stuck where we are And it's so hard, you're so far This long distance is killing me" Set after 3x23


**Hey! :) So, I had come up with this idea for a songfic way back during Yes/No (I think? Whichever episode it was when Finn starting thinking about the army) and I wrote like a paragraph but then stopped because I couldn't think of anything to write, but because of recent events *sobs*, I decided to finish this little story. Hope you like it!**

**Oh, and just so you know, I know little to nothing about the army so some of this information might be wrong..**

**DISCLAIMER - I don't own Glee or its characters and I do not own the song "Long Distance" sung by Bruno Mars.**

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**Long Distance**

_There's only so many songs_  
_That I can sing to pass the time_  
_And I'm running out of things to do_  
_To get you off my mind_  
_Ooohh_

"…_and I'm forever yours, faithfully." _Rachel sung the last notes of the song, beautifully as always. She sniffed and wiped away a few of the tears that had escaped while she was singing. It wasn't right. Faithfully was a duet. Her and Finn's duet. Their song. It didn't feel right to sing it alone. But what else could she do? Finn was away, in the army, and she was in New York. Yes, New York was her dream. That hadn't changed. But with Finn gone, it felt like a part of her was missing. It would be a little easier if Finn was still in the United States, or hell, even on the other side of the world. At least he wouldn't have to go out in the middle of a freaking war zone. But no, he decided that he wanted to join the army. Rachel lived in constant fear the she would get a call from Carole saying that Finn had died while on duty. She didn't know what she would do with herself if that ever happened. But it was a possibility. When Finn first left for the army, Rachel threw herself into her music and her studies at NYADA. It was the only thing that would distract her from the fact that Finn wasn't with her. It was hell. She wanted to be able to hear Finn's laugh and see his smile. She wanted to be held in his reassuring embrace. She missed him so much.

_All I have is this picture in a frame_  
_That I hold close to see your face every day_

She reached under her pillow and grabbed the tiny picture of Finn that she kept there. She had many pictures of Finn. Finn with her, Finn with all of their friends back at McKinley, Finn by himself. Finn at the surprise birthday party she threw for him, looking hilariously cute with icing from his cake all over his face courtesy of Puck. Finn, looking adorable in his gold suspenders and gold bowtie right before they performed at Regionals. Finn at their senior prom, looking handsome in his tux. The picture that she kept under her pillow was a simple one. It was after she had seen him for the first time since he put her on that train to New York the day that was supposed to be their wedding. She had gone back to Lima for Mr. Schue's wedding and of course, since Finn was the best man, she had run into him there. That night they had ended up talking, not talking, cuddling, more not talking, and then falling asleep in each other's arms for the first time in months. When she woke up wrapped in his embrace the following morning, she had felt the happiest that she had felt in a long time. She had looked at him, sleeping peacefully, and thought he looked so adorable that she had to take a picture. Besides, when was the next time she'd be able to see him lying next to her, sleeping so soundly? She had got her phone, and was just about to take a picture of him, when he woke up. He grinned at her, showing off the dimples that she loved so much, just when the camera flashed. It was her favorite picture of him. So as soon as she made it back to New York, leaving Finn for a second time, she downloaded that picture to her computer and printed it off so that she could stare at it every night before she went to sleep. She was pretty sure that her roommate thought she was crazy, staring at that picture all the time, but she didn't care. As far as she knew, it was the only thing keeping her from going insane.

_With you is where I'd rather be_  
_But we're stuck where we are_  
_And it's so hard, you're so far_  
_This long distance is killing me_  
_I wish that you were here with me_  
_But we're stuck where we are_  
_And it's so hard, you're so far_  
_This long distance is killing me_

_It's so hard, it's so hard_  
_Where we are, where we are_  
_You're so far, this long distance is killing me_  
_It's so hard, it's so hard_  
_Where we are, where we are_  
_You're so far, this long distance is killing me_

Rachel sighed sadly as she placed the picture back under her pillow. She just missed him so much and she didn't feel like anyone understood what she was going through. Everyone would tell her, "Rachel, sweetie, you and Finn have been apart for a while. Don't you think its time for you to move on?" And she supposed that they were right. Why is she continuing to obsess over the fact that she no longer has Finn?

Because she loves him. She loves him sooooo much and it hurts. It hurts that she can't see him anymore. That she can't talk to him anymore. After they separated, she called, texted, emailed Finn every day but he never responded. After a while, Rachel gave up trying to get ahold of him. The only reason she knew what was going on with Finn and that he was alive and healthy was because of Kurt. It was times like these when she was happy that Kurt and Finn were step-brothers.

No one understood what she was going through. No one knew how hard it was to go from seeing someone every day to not being in contact with them at all.

Sometimes Rachel felt like she hated New York and Broadway and all of her dreams of stardom. It was because of them that she no longer had Finn. But she knew that Finn sent her on that train for her own good. It took her a while, but she understood. If she had stayed in Lima for that extra year, she would have gone crazy. She would have always been thinking, "I could be in New York right now."

She belonged in New York. She knew that. Doesn't make it hurt any less though.

_Now the minutes feel like hours_  
_And the hours feel like days_  
_While I'm away_  
_You know right now I can't be home_  
_But I'm coming home soon, coming home soon_

Finn was lying on the bunk that he shared with Nate, one of his fellow soldiers, and thinking about Rachel. He missed her so much. Can your heart really hurt from missing someone too much? It felt like it. When Rachel first left for New York, it was terrible. He couldn't stand it. He felt like jumping on the next train to New York and going to get her. But he knew that he couldn't do that. That he had to let Rachel pursue her dreams, even if it meant that he couldn't be with her. When he finally started getting involved in the army, it got a little better. During boot camp, he had always had something to do, there were always people around, so he didn't really have that much time to just sit around and let Rachel consume all of his thoughts. She was always there though. In the back of his mind. Always there.

And then there were days like this. Days were he had nothing to do so all he could do was lie there and think. Think of Rachel. It was days like this where he felt like it would never get better. The day just dragged on and on and on and would never end until finally his eyes closed. But even then he couldn't escape thoughts of Rachel. His dreams were usually about her.

But it would get better soon. He knew it would. He would finish what he needed to do and then go to New York. He would go to New York and find Rachel and hope beyond all hopes that she still loved him. Hope that she hadn't realized that she could do so much better. He would go to New York and they could be together again. He could hold her in his arms and kiss her until he couldn't kiss her anymore and just…he could be happy again. _I'm coming, Rachel. I'm coming. _

_All I have is this picture in a frame_  
_That I hold close to see your face again_

Finn reached under his pillow, where he kept a picture of Rachel. She hated the picture; she had just woken up when he took it and she had no make up on and her hair was wild, but Finn loved it. It was Rachel. She looked so beautiful. And as long as he had that picture, he felt like she was there. And although it was nowhere as satisfying as having Rachel there for real, hearing her giggle, seeing her smile, tasting her lips, it would have to do until he could see her again.

_With you is where I'd rather be_  
_But we're stuck where we are_  
_And it's so hard, you're so far_  
_This long distance is killing me_  
_I wish that you were here with me_  
_But we're stuck where we are_  
_And it's so hard, you're so far_

Sometimes he felt like he hated his father. It was because of his father that he was here in the army, trying to honor him. It was because of his father that he was so far away from Rachel. And then sometimes he hated himself. He hated himself for being so weak. For not responding to all of Rachel's attempts to contact him in fear that if he talked to her, it would just make him miss her even more and he wouldn't be able to stop himself from going to get her. He hated himself for being so insecure. He wished that he could see that person that Rachel saw when she looked at him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.

He missed her. He missed her a lot.

_Can you hear me crying?_  
_Can you hear me crying?_  
_Can you hear me crying?_

Finn's eyes burned as he looked at Rachel's picture. _Why does it hurt so damn much? She's just a girl. A girl that I love, yeah, but she's just a girl. I shouldn't feel like I have this huge hole in my heart. _He pressed his hands to his eyes to try and stop the tears from coming, but it didn't work. _No. She's not just a girl. She's Rachel. _As he lay there on his bed, tears silently streaming down his face, he remembered how hard Rachel cried when he told her that she had to go to New York. He wondered if Rachel knew how much he was hurting. She had to know, right? He didn't think he could take it if she thought that this wasn't as hard for him as it was for her.

As Rachel lied in her bed, thinking about Finn, she started to cry. And then she hated herself for it. She had gotten better; she didn't cry nearly as much as she used to, but she still cried often. A lot of times, all she had to do was look at something that reminded of Finn, whether it be something small like a shirt of his that she still had, or something big like a billboard advertising a Broadway show that she had promised to take Finn to one day. She got a lot of strange looks, when she would start tearing up randomly like that, but she couldn't help it. She wondered if Finn knew how much she was hurting. She hoped that he did. Maybe then he would come back faster.

_With you is where I'd rather be_  
_But we're stuck where we are_  
_And it's so hard, you're so far_  
_This long distance is killing me_  
_I wish that you were here with me_  
_But we're stuck where we are_  
_And it's so hard, you're so far_  
_This long distance is killing me_

_It's so hard, it's so hard_  
_Where we are, where we are_  
_You're so far, this long distance is killing me_  
_It's so hard, it's so hard_  
_Where we are, where we are_  
_You're so far, this long distance is killing me_

_There's only so many songs_  
_That I can sing to pass the time…_

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**So, that didn't suck too bad, did it? :P thanks for reading!**

**-csifan1101**


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